"I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing; kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles."- Audrey Hepburn

Dec 31, 2011

Lost in Translation


31.12.2011

Trong khi mọi người nô nức đổ về trung tâm thành phố để chuẩn bị đón mừng năm mới thì nó hòa theo dòng người … để đi về nhà.

Hôm nay nó đi café với 2 đứa bạn cũ. Nói chuyện bâng quơ. Nó bảo: “Dạo này về VN chán”. 2 đứa bạn phản đối. Thằng bạn nó nói: “Nói ra thì thấy mình có vẻ bề ngoài, nhưng về VN mới thấy mình có giá. Ra đường mới thấy mình đại gia so với người khác. Ở US thấy mình bình thường, ko muốn đi đâu.”

Câu nói đó cứ ám ảnh nó mãi. Thật là nó cũng thích về VN.
Về VN có mẹ nấu ăn ngon, không phải sáng coffee tối cereal cho qua bữa.
Về VN được ăn ngủ và chơi thỏa thích, không phải thức đêm đèn sách.
Về VN được đi roof top cafe, được đi spa massage, được đi làm móng tay móng chân, được đi shopping thoải mái.
Về VN đi chơi bằng taxi, hoặc đi chơi bạn bè đưa đón bằng xe tay ga, có đứa đưa đón bằng cả Audi hoặc BMW.
Về VN đi ăn sushi bar, ăn đồ Hàn Quốc, ăn điểm tâm Trung Quốc, ăn tráng miệng Pháp, đi bar, đi club, đi uống cocktails, etc.
Về VN quen biết nhiều, gọi là có connection, đi đâu chỉ cần alô một tiếng là có bàn đặt sẵn.
Về VN cuối tuần có ba chở đi Vũng Tàu, chán Sài Gòn thì đi Quy Nhơn, Phan Thiết, thậm chí đi Singapore.

Nó bình thường vẫn nói, tụi trẻ dạo này ăn chơi quá. Nhìn lại, không biết mình khác tụi nhỏ bao nhiêu. Chiều nay một mình ngồi quán café đọc sách, nhìn người người qua lại phố xá mà thấy nó sao sống giả tạo quá. Bảo đảm nó là một trong những đứa mà người khác nhìn vào nói rằng: “Con này giả danh trí thức, bày đặt đi café đọc sách nhìn cho sang trọng.”

Lúc còn nhỏ đi chơi chẳng đứa nào nghĩ tới sự khác biệt của đồng tiền, lớn lên rồi mới thấy. Dạo này nó không xin tiền ba mẹ đi chơi, chỉ đi làm dành dụm được bao nhiêu thì chơi bấy nhiêu. Vậy mà đâu dám nó là: “Tao hết tiền rồi, không đi chơi được”. Bạn bè nó toàn con nhà đại gia, đi chơi dễ dàng rút thẻ ra trả vô tư. Nhiều lúc nghĩ nó cũng cảm thấy hơi tủi. Ừ, nó sống giả tạo thật nhỉ.

Thật ra, dạo này về VN thấy buồn. Không phải chán, mà là buồn. Bữa giờ chỉ ở nhà, lúc nào chán ở nhà thì lại café với bạn 1-2 tiếng rồi lại dạo phố Sài Gòn một mình. Đi bộ từ phố này sang phố khác, nơi nay qua nơi khác, lững thững tai đeo ipod, mắt nhìn bâng quơ. Đi mệt thì vào công viên hoặc kiếm góc nào đây mở sách ra đọc. Bữa giờ về đã đọc được hết 7,8 quyển tiểu thuyết mà sao vẫn thấy mình một mình. Nhìn người qua lại chạnh lòng nghĩ, phải chi có đứa nào quen đi ngang gọi tên mình một tiếng. Rồi lại phì cười, đất Sài Gòn rộng lớn, làm gì có chuyện vô tình gặp như vậy.

Nhắn tin cho H, bảo them ăn kem. Cách đây 2 năm có lẽ đã được đáp ứng yêu cầu ngay. Bây giờ đến 1 tin nhắn trả lời cũng ko có.

Nhắn tin cho thằng bạn nhà ở Q1, bảo tao đang một mình, phải đợi 3 tiếng nữa chị mới rước, ra café với tao đi. Nó bảo, thôi mày ạ.

Nhìn cái list contact dài dằng dặc, nhìn phố xá người đi lại vui như trẩy hội mà tự nhiên thấy lòng trống rỗng. Như một cái vỏ dờ dật, hoàng nháng bên ngoài.

Người ta nói, cô đơn nhất không phải là khi bạn một mình, trốn tránh vào một góc khuất và không ai ở cạnh, mà cảm giác cô đơn nhất là khi trước mặt không có chướng ngại vật mà vẫn không ai bước đến bên bạn. giống như đứng giữa góc phố đầy người mà xoay đi ngoảnh lại chỉ có mình ta với ta.

Đi đâu, làm gì mới thấy người hết trống rỗng đây và đời hết vô vị đây? Do mình thay đổi, hay do người đổi thay?

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Got an email in my inbox when I got home, letting me know that, somewhere in this world, there's still someone thinking about me. Maybe the place where I belong is where there are people waiting for me, and where I can truly be myself. 

[az]

Dec 27, 2011

27.12.11

My cousin and her boyfriend from Germany are visiting Vietnam, and my cousins from my dad hometown are also visiting. Plus, most of my friends leave around a week after New Year, so that leaves me with very little time to hang out with everyone. My days end up being splitted into multiple parts to involve everyone.

I haven't seen many of my cousins for years, from both my mom's and dad's side and suddenly I got to see almost all of them within a day. It was, very strange. To most of my cousin, I have always been the baby of the group, and I kept getting comments for how grown up I am. We used to be very close when we were little, since some of my cousins lived with us.  I used to make my favorite cousin hug me until I fall asleep (that's probably where I got the habit of having someone sleeping with me). The last time I saw him was the night before I left the US to study for the first time, and I remember him holding my hand until I fell asleep, like I haven't grown up at all. Now he's about to have a family of his own and I those innocent days are all in the past. It's a bittersweet feeling.

On a bright side, my best friends are home. We've known each other for 10 years and have always done things together. Saigon has been so boring without them. So on Monday, I met up with some of them. We met at our middle school and started from there. We happened to run into our 7th grade English teacher, and she still remembered me. Obviously, I was the most brilliant student in English, and the most trouble-maker at the same time ;) The four of us went out for bubble tea and headed back to my house to play … Kinect, only after stopping at the market to go shopping for ingredients  for a hotpot. I felt like we've never grown up at all, still doing silly things like years ago. People must have been super annoyed when us 3 went shopping ;) Hehehe, we finished all the food in record time, and played Dance Battle the rest of the day. Quang is a dancer in a dance group and performs regularly on stage, so it was hilarious watching Phuong trying to beat him, claiming that she "had been practicing" at home. Lol.

Enjoying making a fool out of ourselves ...
I was doing good, until I wasn't, and got violent ;)

I'm spending a whole day w/ Momo and D today, the two members of BLOOM and the girls I count on when I run into guy, and fashion trouble. We hang out with each other so much that we also know each other's parents, family members and even the house helpers know all of us ;) We went to get our nails done, as always, before going out for lunch and heading back to Momo's place. Usually we do silly things like dressing up and having photoshoots. Sometimes I help Momo with her designing homework (obviously I can't do such a good job at sketching and designing as she does). We also often go shopping together. And LOTS of talking. We must be getting old since all we did today was getting our nails done, and talked and … napped.

Loving the design <3
But I love spending time with these girls. They are the ones who would tell me straight up when my clothes don't look good, or my nail colors are weird, or that they don't like the guy I'm interested in. We all have our own problems and are busy with school work and relationships. We don't talk all the time but we know we'd always be there for each other. Momo is transferring to a uni in San Francisco this spring, so one step closer to me and so many steps closer to D. So jealous of those two in the west coast.

Time is passing by real quick when I have so much to do. I still have many plans that I don't know whether I will be able to do all of them. My parents don't like it when I skip meals at home so often and, honestly, I feel bad not spending enough time with them. 2 more weeks and I will be back in the states.

Too much time going out and doing things non-stop, I decided to stop by the library and spent all my afternoon and most of my evening reading. Spending a night watching Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess in One Day now <3 Looks like it's gonna be a good one, I have always had a thing for Jim Sturgess, ever since Across the Universe ;)



New Year's coming soon …
[az]

Dec 23, 2011

Have myself a [sweet] merry little christmas


It is definitely beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Now that my friends are coming home, there are suddenly so much more things to do in Saigon.

Immediately the morning when she arrived home, Quyen called me up for the long-awaited girls' night out between the two of us, accompanied by cocktails and, well, stories.We wouldn't be the two that hang out 24/7 and call each other up every other day to gossip. But whenever there's something going on, she'd come to me. I'm the older one after all. Sitting on the balcony overlooking one of the five star hotels and the most luxury streets of Saigon, sipping Cosmo, we felt like real cosmopolitan girls with troubles that we could temporarily forget about.

Cosmo <3
It felt like  we haven't changed much since high school.  It reminded me of all those times when she would barge in my room asking what the hell happened that got me into a relationship over night. Or  when I lied to the teachers and deans to sign us out for the weekend to my friend's college so that she could have her first drinking party and stop worry about the jerk that broke her heart. Or all those times when she would make me dinners when I got sick. Or when we went on spring break together and I taught her how to ride a bike and we went on tons of picnic. Or when she called up my parents so that I could go on the 4 day weekend trip to the island with her, when I was feeling down. The list of things we did together goes on: making food for International Club, planning the fashion show, burning the kitchen down attempting to make biscuits and biscotti (thanks to that we're both excellent bakers now), covering for each other to sneak out of the dorm, skipping classes to watch movies, getting ready for dances, doing nails and facial at 6am. I definitely did go pick fights with tons of people on her behalf, and she stopped me from punching many girls in their faces. Heheheh, for the Pres and VP of Dorm Council, we definitely broke more rules and caused more troubles than anyone else ;) As we walked the crowded streets of Saigon, reminiscing all the teenager stuff we did at boarding school, it felt like those good times were so long ago.


Saigon suddenly looks so much better when I'm not drinking cocktails by myself anymore. The streets are crowded with people taking pictures. I've never been a big fan of dressing up in pretty clothes and high heels, and doing my hair and putting on make up, so that I could go take ten thousand pictures in front of a Christmas tree =.= I like to dress up to look pretty all the time, but I don’t think I need to have the confirmation from all the people on the street, or the competition with the girl standing next to me to see who can strike a sexier pose and stop more guys from walking away … But I mean, I have no right to judge what people do. They do what they want, certainly an admirable trait. It is definitely super fun to watch, hehe. So we spent the entire night at the coffee shop just staring at people passing by down on the streets. 

Saigon by night.
Nice spot to stalk people ;)
It is going to be packed with people on the night of the 24th. I'm planning on staying at home to avoid being pushed around, getting lost with friends and ending up stuck in traffic for hours. I've already got my Christmas party plus sleep over with friends. So may just midnight mass and a good night sleep. Sometimes I wish I could be little again to get presents from Santa. Although, I was a really curious and smart kids, I figured out that my parents were behind the presents hid away in the closet when I was, like, four. And my older sister still hates me for ruining Christmas for her. Oops.

But Christmas without presents is kind of, sad. Maybe I will buy a present for myself, but I don't even want anything this year in particular. I was planning on making my annual Christmas wish list as I've been doing for the past few years but scratched the idea because I couldn't think of anything to put down. Maybe I could wish for Santa to make me a little bit less cynical and logical, and stop looking at things in such a rational and factual way, and stop ruining fantasy and romance. Meh, if that's the case, I may as well just ask him to bring me a hippopotamus, or a unicorn.

Christmas this year will significantly lack of wishes from everyone too, since I have deactivated my facebook, the only mean for me to keep in touch with many of my friends from all over the world. Maybe I will reactivate it again for the day, or maybe I won't. After all, the ones who care won't give up only because they can't find me on Facebook.

Anyways, breakfast with friends tomorrow, and more desserts after. One thing I would never miss on Christmas is truffles and chocolates. Too bad I couldn’t give out my truffles this year as gifts for everyone, it's  one of my favorite things to do.

Hope that wherever my friends and people I care about are, they would have some form of sweet treats to celebrate this season, whether it's Ferrero Rocher, a double chocolate fudge cake, or a night spending with their loved ones (added in some extra sweetener like a kiss or two, and more ;))


Merry Christmas!
From az.



Dec 20, 2011


Dec 19, 2011

Christmas in Saigon





I still can’t believe that I’ve been home for almost a month. Time flies when you don’t pay attention.

Most of my friends who I usually hang out with when I’m home are all combating exams either in the US or in Vietnam. Thus, besides working and spending time preparing lessons for my students, I try to keep myself busy helping my sister with her wedding preparation, helping my younger sis with her school work, or just do nothing. It gets quite boring and pointless often.

When I feel like being home alone all the time having nothing to do has turned me into a depressing person, I go out and spend time … alone. It’s Christmas time, and even without the cold weather and the white snow, Saigon still looks like it is ready for the season greetings. I haven’t been home during Christmas for a while. Even though I admit that I love the holiday atmosphere in the US, there is a certain unique feeling about Christmas in my tropical hometown that is still able to make me have butterflies in my stomach.

I love walking from streets to streets, wandering from one district to another, with no one to see and no place to go. I don’t have to rush anywhere, and don’t have to think about how to get things done. Just listening to music, watching people to wherever they go, I feel like it’s much easier to think about what I need to think about.

It feels different without the below-zero weather and the white snow. I miss complaining about the cold, and rushing into Starbucks for a cup of warm latte. I miss going Christmas shopping with friends. I just miss the feeling of Christmas in the US.

Lights in the bedroom
Regardless, it’s Christmas, and it IS my favorite time of the year. My dad has put up Christmas lights everywhere, after my constant whining about how much I love Christmas lights. Christmas music is being played in the house all the time. I just wish I could be with someone to snuggle up, to be kept warm in his arms, watching a movie or something.

Well, it feels like everyone is happy, and excited to end the year, bad or good, and welcome a new year. I’m going to spend it well, celebrate it with my family, my friends, my city, my home. Despite how much I complain about it, there has not been a time when I come home that I did not have good times with friends and family.

Life can never be easy. There are ups and downs, but that’s how it is. There are many things that I get to experience and there are many memories I have made this year. And let’s make next year a memorable one too.

We’re growing up days by days, it feels weird.



My all time favorite Christmas playlist <3

Dec 16, 2011

My Happy Ending






It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared

And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[az]

Dec 15, 2011

Be a dream catcher.

Dec 7, 2011




The Saigon that I've always been in love with.
There are days that I just sit at street corners or at coffee shops, blankly staring at people and vehicles passing by. 
 Feel invisible, like no one knows me, and no one cares.
And just not think, or worry.

Dec 6, 2011

Hello December :)



    [Inspired by Galadarling]
    December 1st

    Put up your tree, or some Christmas decoration & consider doing things a little differently this year! It's a tradition in our family for all of us to decorate the tree together. 
    One year my mother bought this magnificent black tree, & usually decks it out with white feathers, silver mirrored disco balls, crystals &other marvellous things. She’s using the same tree this year, but it’s accented with red.Red roses, red birds, red berries & strings of pearls. EPIC!
    This year, we decide to do something different. We hung up a GIANT red star with colorful lights, and streams, wreaths and lights everywhere else. Our house looks like it's on fire, but hey, there's no one around, gotta lighten up things ;)

    I love Christmas decorating and I usually do this with my roommate Diamonique every year. We would listen to Alvin & the Chipmunks (and annoy the heck out our hallmates) and cover the doors with wrapping papers, hang up lights, draw/make decorations together. I miss her this year.

    So please, make sure to decorate your tree while listening to something appropriately Christmas-y (if not Alvin and the Chipmunks), like A Very She & Him ChristmasSufjan Stevens Presents Songs for ChristmasDavid Ian: Vintage ChristmasHipster’s Holiday: Vocal Jazz and R&B Classics, or these MP3s!

    December 2nd

                                  
    Get yourself — & whoever you live with — some rad Christmas items that you can wear around the house! 
    I'm not a big fan of bright colors, but I start wearing red a lot when it's Christmas time, and furry stuff ;)
    This year, I put red and green collars on my new puppies, and add jingle bells on them too. Whenever they run, it's hilarious!
    Plus, it’s important to have something sweet to wear while you unwrap your presents on Christmas morning… Don’t you think?!

    December 3rd


     Get started on your Christmas cards! Make it your mission to find great notepaper or stationery for writing them. It doesn’t have to have a reindeer on it or anything like that; something simple & chic will do the trick! I always have purple cards, because it's me!

    This year I get the chance to experience going shopping for Christmas card at the central of the city, close to Duc Ba Cathedral again. Reminded me of all those middle school and high school years when tons of us would fight over a good and cheap Christmas card, and laugh when we gave out the same card to each other. Handing out cards and gifts during school was such a blast.

    I think Christmas is a wonderful time to remember everyone who has been a special part of your year. Start writing your notes to them now. Even a couple of lines thanking them for being in your life will mean so much, & be so appreciated! Post them out as soon as you can, or if you don’t think they’ll get there in time, scan & email them!


    December 4th

    Help someone else. December can be a month of joy, but it can also be a time of enormous sadness for people who are less fortunate than us. We’re always able to help others, but somehow it seems easier in December, so start today & see if you can carry the momentum through into the new year!

    Have a look around your house, & gather up any clothes, toys or household items you don’t need. Then take them to a women’s shelter or an organisation that helps people. As you look around, remember that coats, blankets, & other warm things are especially important when the temperature drops, & most of us have at least one of these that we could spare without too much trouble.

    We don't have such cold weather in Vietnam but it's still worth giving away something. Everyone deserves gifts during this time of the year.


    December 5th

    Decide to do Twelve Dates of Christmas! Yep! The idea is that you & your beloved make time for 12 dates over the month of December. They can be as silly or as elaborate as you like. Maybe some of them can be items from this activity guide, too!

    If you're single, try these out with your gay friend or your best girlfriends. They would still be as much fun, I promise. Just be creative ;)

    If you need extra inspiration, Marci catalogued all her dates here! I love this idea so much!

    December 6th

    Make paper snowflakes! It is definitely NOT snowing where I am, but snowflakes are a truly fabulous symbol of winter & all things magical. With this in mind, why not sit down tonight with some paper, some scissors, some glue & a whole lot of glitter, & make paper snowflakes?! If you’re feeling really crafty, you can put them on a string & hang them all around the house, which I did <3

    December 7th


    Have your photo taken in front of a display window!
    It's a fabulous time when all the shops have a "silent competition" on who has the best display window. AND, who cares about what people think, it is just fun to take pictures in front of those Chanel snow balls or Dior Rudolph or doing some silly mannequin poses.
    Gotta spice up your shopping time ;)


    December 8th

    Bake cookies! Or truffles. Or anything.
     Christmas just isn’t Christmas without the scent of sugary evil wafting through the house. Christmas is the perfect excuse for me to go crazy. Being home kinds of stop me from making too much sweets since my family doesn't like sweets, but truffles are my favorite things. They make me happy, and people around me, too.


    I’d be pretty happy to have any of those in my kitchen, wouldn’t you?! Make a shopping list & then get cracking!


    December 9th

    Go ice-skating!
    I can't in Vietnam, but it's a fun thing to put on the list.


    December 10th


     Eat an entire box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates! Or Godiva's.
    This one doesn’t need much explanation, surely… Pure indulgence!


    December 11th


    Go out with your favourite person & drink hot chocolate. If you ask me, there are few things better than spending time with someone who you think is sublime. Add hot chocolate to that combination & you have a recipe for massive success!

    Make it your mission to scout out the very, very best hot chocolate in your area, & then make a date. If your search comes up a bit flat, though, don’t despair! MarieBelle Aztec Hot Chocolate comes in a tin, & is one of the BEST EVER hot chocolate experiences. (It’s basically just melted chocolate in a cup. Incroyable!)


    December 12th

    Make a Christmas wish list!
    Who doesn't want a wish list for Christmas?


    December 13th


    Carry chocolate coins in your purse & give them to people who make you smile!
    You can substitute with candy canes, if you prefer! Who knows me know that I always stock up sugar canes (even 3 months after Christmas, especially the colorful and yummy flavor ones because I hate mint, lol. I got Life Savers and Dum Dum flavors last year :)

    Um… This is also good if you’re exhausted while out shopping for gifts & need a sugary pick-me-up!


    December 14th


    Make a gingerbread house! If you’re feeling really ambitious, you can make your own from scratch (quite the undertaking!)

    December 15th


    Give yourself a festive manicure! The time is nigh! If you’re not sure what to do, how about red nails with a “snowy” white tip? You could paint snowflakes or gifts on your thumb, or just go for red & white stripes. If you’re good with a nail-art pen, you could even try drawing Rudolph! Oh my! I did an entire snowy scene with snowman one year. When I get lazy, I do candy canes pattern because it is super easy and still looks cute.

     I'm going to try something super crazy this year.


    December 16th

    Plan a little holiday soiree! It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic — maybe you all make & decorate ornaments for one another’s Christmas trees, perhaps you bake cookies, or maybe you drink so many “festive” cocktails that you break into a karaoke version of Don’t Stop Believin’ that shatters some kind of world record. Either way, you can NEVER have too many parties in December! I'm thinking about a barbeque by the riverside this year. Spending time with friends are fun.


    December 17th

    Wrap all your gifts! I always think it’s nicer to do it at home, rather than having a shop assistant do it for you. You can buy the most amazing holographic paper, crazy springy bows & lovely bits & bobs to put on the top of a parcel if you know where to shop.

    Additionally, Matchbook magazine’s December issue has a fantastic wrapping guide starting on page 52! (I love the idea of using newspaper & fancy baubles, or bells or doilies.)
    Wrapping is an art-form which requires plenty of practice, so if your first attempts aren’t too gorgeous, don’t worry about it. Making the effort will make people smile either way!



    December 18th

    Take a family portrait! ...Even if your “family” just consists of you & your dog, or you & your best friend, it doesn’t matter. Ask someone to take your picture, or throw your camera on a tripod & use the self-timer function! Sometimes during the holidays, it can get so crazy that we forget to take photos to preserve the moments (& hold onto the memories!). I rarely home for Christmas and my sister is getting married soon, who knows when will be the next time we'll all be together again during Christmas.


    December 19th


    Watch Winter Fashion Shows, to make you feel all pretty and beautiful. A girl deserves to feel like she's on top of the world, or to dream being so.

      
    December 20th

    Walk or drive all around your city to see the best Christmas lights! Even the Grinchiest anti-Christmas party-pooper can’t help but smile at the sight of hundreds of Christmas lights. There’s just something beautiful & magical about them which makes us all feel young again. Even if there aren’t many crazy, decked-out houses to be seen in your area, make a pilgrimage to your city’s oversized Christmas tree. Bask in the glow & soak up the atmosphere! AND TAKE PICTURES. I love love love being on the motorcycle in vietnam in these occasion. Very special feeling.


    December 21st

    Go all out with your Christmas-themed dressing! Yes! Sweaters? Bust ‘em out! Christmas-themed earrings? Put ‘em on! Anything with a bow on, that makes you look like a present? What are you waiting for?! I’d also recommend dressing up any small animals or children you can find, too! I think Dolly would make a great elf! Who cares, just do things that make you happy. I love love love accessories, so I always pile up on that.


    December 22nd

    Get mistletoe-happy! I’ve never bought mistletoe. In fact, I don’t even think I’ve everSEEN mistletoe in person! To me, a non-American, it has always just seemed like something from movies! But today is the day — I have officially decided — to buy & hang mistletoe. Then get to smoochin’! (Of course!)


    December 23rd

    Go out & look at all the Christmas windows. There’s something so lovely about them! They’re so much more special than usual, & the creativity is magnificent. You’ll see animatronic creatures, constantly falling snow & beautiful scenes. There is such an art to window-dressing, & Christmas is when you get to see the best of the best. Have a wander & get inspired!



    December 24th

     Dress up and go to midnight mass! Oh, & get ready for Santa, of course!

    December 25th

     Make your own new tradition today. Maybe that tradition is falling asleep after lunch, or snuggling up together to watch a favourite movie after you’ve unwrapped your gifts. Maybe it’s inviting over all your friends who don’t have family in town this year. Whatever it is, make it something that makes you truly, truly happy.