"I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing; kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles."- Audrey Hepburn

Dec 31, 2013

2013: The year in Review

I can't believe the last time I wrote anything was in September. I have been seriously neglecting my writing. However, I do realize that I only write when things aren't going great in life, whether it is work, family, or relationships. When things go right, I just cruise along and forget that I do have a place to go back to.

It's been a year, and I felt like there has been so many things happened last year that it was literally like a blur to me. This may be the most unoriginal and cliche way of writing a New Year entry blog, but I am going to do it anyway, because the feeling of taking a trip down memory lane and looking at all the highlights of your year is pretty amazing. That way I feel like I can make sure I don't forget anything important that happened to me. So here it goes:

I was lucky to spend most of January at home with warm sun, beaches, good food and great company last year. I was surrounded with friends and family, not knowing how cold and lonely it would be spending the holidays in Rochester by myself. I guess that what growing up means. Sometimes you just can't be the little kid and run back home to your parents anymore because there are things you have to do.

The rest of my last semester in college was filled with Sigmas, Greek life and school work. I can't really say that I was 100% focus on my studying but I was glad to graduate with a decent GPA, a handful of experience and a job lined up for this year. Compared to all my friends who are still struggling to find jobs, I am actually quite lucky. I also know that I have put lots of efforts and worked extra hard to get to where I was so I am proud of myself to be where I am right now. My last semester was quite fulfilling. I got to do what I have always wanted for Sigma and for me, to guide these girls through the process and have them become our members filled with excitement and enthusiasm was the best reward for me. I felt like my decision to join this organization, though was an impulsive one, was the best decision of my college career. I couldn't imagine how my college years would be if I wasn't a Sigma. I got to meet so many people and have grown so much in terms of my personality. It made my college years quite eventful. And although it was the last semester, I surprisingly met so many new people. Although our friendship wasn't something that lasts throughout college, it continues after college and I am more than happy to still have them in my life right now.

Looking back, I think 2013 was a year of so many major changes for me. I graduated from college, started a new job and tried to settle in with the idea of becoming an adult. I moved to a new apartment, got a new car, adopted a pet (something I never thought I would ever be able to), and got a tattoo. I felt like I'm step-by-step walking into the real world. And it's scary. There were moments when I got frustrated and nervous that I had to go through all these things on my own without my parents being here to help out. However, I also realize that I am capable of more than I thought I could. I also realize that the friends who I have made throughout the past four years will always be there for me. Just like how we used to help each other with homework and lab assignments, we will always be there to help each other with other things in life.

2013 was a lot of traveling for me, and it was the part that made me the happiest. Every chance I got, I took off to California, New York, Boston, Chicago, etc. Road trips bring friends together. It also makes me realize that I have so many homes away from home where everyone is willing to take me in, to spend their time despite being busy to be with me. When you don't have an actual family to come home to, you count on those families that you make for yourself.

People always say that among career, money and love, you can only have 2. My mom always tells me that if life seems to give you 2 out of 3, your last one is going to be a mess. I can't say that I was doing well financially, but I never do well with money, something I definitely needs to work on .... I have no complain about my career. I know what I want to do and I have a job that allows me to pay for things I want to do. But surprisingly, my relationship is not that bad either. Of course, there are still all the ups and downs that every relationship entails and of course there were certain moments when I lost myself and didn't know what to do. However, I was solid on ground. I wasn't all over the place. I knew what I wanted and I stayed with it. At this time last year, a certain guy came into my life and I wasn't sure if I wanted anything to do with him. I was scared of getting myself into another complication that I could never got myself out of. I turned him down, over and over, to protect myself. He was persistent. On Valentine's, when he told me "I know you have gone through terrible things in relationships before, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy", I knew I needed to give him a chance, to give myself a chance. And I was happy. When one door opens in your life, the other door closes. I was sad that I had to let one go, and I am still sad, but I also learned that I can't have everything I want all the time. Sometimes, life is about choices and I have to make the decision. There are still things I am not sure about and there are still things between us that I am scared to even think about. To be honest though, he keeps me grounded. He keeps me calm, and he keeps me from being the chaotic person that I have always been. I'm leaving Rochester soon and I learn to not let myself attach to anything, so for now, I think I am happy with what I have.

This year, I got a tattoo, as a reminder to myself that it is me who I have to think about first. It seems selfish, but if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of anyone else. I have also been on this fitness journey and I am so proud of what I have accomplished. Gotta continue to be a fan of Casey Ho.

What do I want for 2014? 

All my grad school applications have been submitted. I am looking forward to end this year strong and to be able to move to a new point in life. I want to meet new people, learn new things and continue to live life the fullest. I want to continue finding my passion.

I think at this point I pretty much no who I am as a person, and I have no desire to change that. I just want to put my feet on the ground and start walking as the whole person that I have found. Spontaneous, but not chaotic. Take chances, but not risking anything that is important to me. I believe I will find that one person who will handle the spontaneous me .

I will spend more time with friends, and with my family. I will care for my friends more and be there for them, instead of trying to find 10,000 friends. Because at the end of the day, the people who will be there for me will be these handful of pain-in-the-ass people.

I will take care of myself better, spend more time treating myself to nice things and be healthy.

I will check out new places in the world, and make plans in the future to travel more. There are so many countries I want to travel to, and new horizons I want to see.

2013 was a good year. I'm excited to see what 2014 brings.

Dec 30, 2013