"I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing; kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles."- Audrey Hepburn

Aug 19, 2012

For the strangers of my life.

When you're young, you tend to exaggerate everything. Everything is either forever, or never.

When you find a girl friend that you can hang out with, go shopping with, study with, and talk about guys with, you call her your best friend, forever. When you enter college and pick a major, you sincerely believe that that will be your career for the rest of your life. And when you meet a guy and start liking him, you think that that happiness will last, for a very long time.

After a while, your "bff" finds a new group of friends, and you two start drifting apart. Or she will move to another city and you will cry and miss her, and text her like crazy for about a month, then you two move on with life. You find out that after all you don't like any of the classes in your major, and you pick up another field and start over. The guy you like no longer reciprocates your feelings. You start to have fights and eventually, you hardly talk to each other.

And before you move on to another chapter in your life, you feel the pain, and shed the tears. You are scared. You are afraid of the unknown. What if you can no longer go back to the stage where you were before? What if the future is even more painful than what you have to go through right now? However, whether you want to or not, life will push you through.

Sometimes, when you think about it, things are not everlasting. Moving on shouldn't be such a scary feeling. It should be like, hunger. When you are hungry, it is uncomfortable and irritating. You find your favorite food to eat and you feel happy. You feel like that amazing feeling will last forever. Obviously, it won't. And you will be hungry again, you will have to go and put some efforts into finding food again, and you will be forever searching for something new to spice up your appetite. It is a never ending cycle. Yet, no one complains about having to feed themselves. They are more than happy to work to satisfy their hunger.

Then, what is the difference between food, and relationships? We should come into a relationship knowing that eventually, things will go away, and we will have to work hard to find something that will make us happy again. If that is the case, people wouldn't be afraid of letting go. People will not need to try to hang on to each other. They will not be afraid of having to expedite time and efforts into a new relationship. They will not be scared because they should know that no matter what, they will find something, or someone, to make them happy again.

I have been through many of these "hungry" moments. I am scared of letting go because I don't like the feeling of being left with nothing. Yet, I realize that as much as it takes to move on, it is also quite a good feeling when I find something new. That newly generated source of happiness, the tingling of feeling of being cared for, and being the sole attention of someone. To be loved.

I think I need to teach myself to be more brave and courageous, and teach myself to believe that after all, "tomorrow is another day."

I do not know how long this happiness will last nor whether I will have to go through all the sadness again. But I believe that whatever I go through, the memories are worth cherishing.

Thank you for coming into my life when I thought I could not be stronger. Thank you for letting me finding the strength, and letting me believe in myself again. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for allowing me to believe that there will always be something better for me out there.

It is because of you that I can always let go and keep moving forward.



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