Imagine this:
One of those days, when the temperature drops to below 20 degree and the brutal wind is having fun with practicing its 100m sprint, you are wrapped up in layers of blanket, enjoying one of those “good-feeling” movies. With no worries in mind, you just relax and enjoy the moment.
Or this:
On the corner of the street, under a lonely street lamp, like a shadow, you’re standing. The night is clear and you can smell the crisped air. Your thoughts drift away to somewhere faraway. The bad news blows your mind. Your heart shatters and you feel like the world is crumbling underneath you.
Ask yourself what you’d feel in both situations.
What kind of feelings would be suitable in both scenes, you would ask?
Solitude, I would answer.
Whether it is a joyous or devastating moment, relaxing or stressful situation, in the middle of nowhere or on the busy street of the city, more than often, I would have this desire to feel a touch. Never mind the passionate embrace, or a loving hug. Never mind cuddling or being watched while falling asleep. If I could get those, that’s fabulous. If not, I’d be satisfied with just a light and tingling feeling of warmth, just a touch, on the hand, on the arm, on the shoulder, a pat on the head or even a heartfelt, invisible feeling of someone sitting next to me, for me to lean on whenever I need the support. Or at least, that's what I told myself.
It gets me thinking, what is it about these trivial physical movements that makes my heart ache? Since when do these become such fancy necessity in my daily life?
I have to make it clear that I had quite a reserved attitude toward physical contact. Growing up in a rather strict environment, I get to appreciate the hug and the touch. Sisters are huggable. Mommy is huggable if you are under age 5. Daddy is not huggable unless he has had some drinks with his friends. Male cousins are not huggable after age 10. Dogs and cats are huggable as long as they don’t end up on your bed. Girlfriends are huggable. Boyfriends are not huggable. The boyfriend does not even make the list. All are touchable except for boyfriends and the secret boyfriend.
I don’t know how I felt when I was first introduced to the liberal view of the hug and the touch. It took me by surprise, made me wonder “Really, I can do that?”
Eventually, it has become part of my life. I thought it was a good thing. There is nothing wrong with showing how we feel for each other. As friends, as lovers, as family, (as Barney), we give each other hugs. We hug when we’re happy, when we’re sad, when we’re angry or even for no reason at all.
There are also numerous other ways to express our feelings physically: holding hands, patting on the head, leaning on shoulders, cuddling, and many more. As humans, our pleasure in touching and holding those we love never cease? Human attachment consists of one person providing another with a safe haven when distressed and a secure base on which to explore. We need someone to stand by us, so that, by their existence, we know of our own. At all ages, we are social creatures. We gain strength when someone offers us, by words and actions, a safe haven: “I will be here. I am interested in you. Come what may, I will support you.” We spend our lives look for the source of that strength.
However, it gets me thinking, will these physical expressions ever lose their meanings from being overused. Once in my life, I thought it must be really special to get a hug. Now, I want more than just a hug to feel special. Or do I not?
Millions, billions, trillions sugar-coated words may not be able to penetrate my rational mind. Nevertheless, one single touch, one degree difference of warmth and my mind goes blank and my heart melts. Isn’t supposed to be only love that brings about the physical attachment? Or is it the physical attachment itself that brings about the feelings? Is it really my heart that wavers, or is it just my body reacts by instinct? It is mysterious. It is confounding. It leaves my feelings bewildered and my mind dazed. If I am already used to this liberal view, then why is it so goddamn irritating? Why is it that I want to unveil the supposedly casual message underlies these casual movements so bad my heart aches
What exactly the hell does a hug convey? What the hell is the logic for my bubbling feeling caused by such a mere touch?
So frustrating …
One of those days, when the temperature drops to below 20 degree and the brutal wind is having fun with practicing its 100m sprint, you are wrapped up in layers of blanket, enjoying one of those “good-feeling” movies. With no worries in mind, you just relax and enjoy the moment.
Or this:
On the corner of the street, under a lonely street lamp, like a shadow, you’re standing. The night is clear and you can smell the crisped air. Your thoughts drift away to somewhere faraway. The bad news blows your mind. Your heart shatters and you feel like the world is crumbling underneath you.
Ask yourself what you’d feel in both situations.
What kind of feelings would be suitable in both scenes, you would ask?
Solitude, I would answer.
Whether it is a joyous or devastating moment, relaxing or stressful situation, in the middle of nowhere or on the busy street of the city, more than often, I would have this desire to feel a touch. Never mind the passionate embrace, or a loving hug. Never mind cuddling or being watched while falling asleep. If I could get those, that’s fabulous. If not, I’d be satisfied with just a light and tingling feeling of warmth, just a touch, on the hand, on the arm, on the shoulder, a pat on the head or even a heartfelt, invisible feeling of someone sitting next to me, for me to lean on whenever I need the support. Or at least, that's what I told myself.
It gets me thinking, what is it about these trivial physical movements that makes my heart ache? Since when do these become such fancy necessity in my daily life?
I have to make it clear that I had quite a reserved attitude toward physical contact. Growing up in a rather strict environment, I get to appreciate the hug and the touch. Sisters are huggable. Mommy is huggable if you are under age 5. Daddy is not huggable unless he has had some drinks with his friends. Male cousins are not huggable after age 10. Dogs and cats are huggable as long as they don’t end up on your bed. Girlfriends are huggable. Boyfriends are not huggable. The boyfriend does not even make the list. All are touchable except for boyfriends and the secret boyfriend.
I don’t know how I felt when I was first introduced to the liberal view of the hug and the touch. It took me by surprise, made me wonder “Really, I can do that?”
Eventually, it has become part of my life. I thought it was a good thing. There is nothing wrong with showing how we feel for each other. As friends, as lovers, as family, (as Barney), we give each other hugs. We hug when we’re happy, when we’re sad, when we’re angry or even for no reason at all.
There are also numerous other ways to express our feelings physically: holding hands, patting on the head, leaning on shoulders, cuddling, and many more. As humans, our pleasure in touching and holding those we love never cease? Human attachment consists of one person providing another with a safe haven when distressed and a secure base on which to explore. We need someone to stand by us, so that, by their existence, we know of our own. At all ages, we are social creatures. We gain strength when someone offers us, by words and actions, a safe haven: “I will be here. I am interested in you. Come what may, I will support you.” We spend our lives look for the source of that strength.
However, it gets me thinking, will these physical expressions ever lose their meanings from being overused. Once in my life, I thought it must be really special to get a hug. Now, I want more than just a hug to feel special. Or do I not?
Millions, billions, trillions sugar-coated words may not be able to penetrate my rational mind. Nevertheless, one single touch, one degree difference of warmth and my mind goes blank and my heart melts. Isn’t supposed to be only love that brings about the physical attachment? Or is it the physical attachment itself that brings about the feelings? Is it really my heart that wavers, or is it just my body reacts by instinct? It is mysterious. It is confounding. It leaves my feelings bewildered and my mind dazed. If I am already used to this liberal view, then why is it so goddamn irritating? Why is it that I want to unveil the supposedly casual message underlies these casual movements so bad my heart aches
What exactly the hell does a hug convey? What the hell is the logic for my bubbling feeling caused by such a mere touch?
So frustrating …
[az] Oct 09 Song playing: Skin On Skin - Sarah Connor
Just a little bit more love
Just a little bit more passion
This is how it should begin
Skin on skin ...
Heres a true romance
Be aware and take your chance
Tomorrow Im gonna leave you
But I am here for you tonight ....
Just a little getting close
Just a little more affection
Cause I dont think its a sin
Skin on skin
Dont you know that this game is to play
Just as long as its time
Cant you see that my hearts gotta know
When youre gonna be mine
So we better get it on
What is here will soon be gone
When the leaves are falling
Then maybe we could fall apart ....
Just a little bit more love
Just a little bit more passion
This is how it should begin
Skin on skin ...
Heres a true romance
Be aware and take your chance
Tomorrow Im gonna leave you
But I am here for you tonight ....
Just a little getting close
Just a little more affection
Cause I dont think its a sin
Skin on skin
Dont you know that this game is to play
Just as long as its time
Cant you see that my hearts gotta know
When youre gonna be mine
So we better get it on
What is here will soon be gone
When the leaves are falling
Then maybe we could fall apart ....
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