Daily Note.

I must admit that I have pretty bad temper. And because I have a pretty straightforward personality, my temper doesn't help me with my attempt to try to be nice to people.

Recently, I have been in constant bad mood. I could blame it on stress (here it goes again: taking Orgo is exhausting), but to be honest, I am nowhere as stressed as I am during the school year. Something definitely bothers me though. Usually I am a pretty social person, and I enjoy the company of people. There are even times when I get scared of being alone and have to actively search for people to be with. Yet recently, being around people annoys me. When my friends get too excited or start making too much noise, I get irritated. I feel terrible, because I shouldn't be taking out my bad mood on other people, especially those who do nothing wrong to me. It gets to the point where I just try to hide in my room most of the time, like literally, go into my room, lock the door, and pretend that I am not home so that people won't bother me. Or it gets to the point that I repeatedly ask him if I could stay over just because I don't want to go home and deal with all the people.

It's pretty terrible isn't it? I try to listen to happy music, exercise when I can and focus on working on my wall project when I am in my antisocial mood. But it has been more than two weeks and it doesn't seem to get any better. Maybe I just need a change in people I hang out with. I have always been a social butterfly but the good thing about that is I can switch up the people I am with all the time. During the summer, there's not much choice though.

On a more positive note, I got to talk to So Youn this Saturday and that made me happy. She has always been my support all the time and I get strangely attached to her. If she was a guy, I wouldn't be surprised to see myself with her *laugh* I miss random conversations, midnight meals, all-nighters and sleep overs at each other's places. I have been so spoiled recently that I like the feeling of having someone to sleep with me. Not a good habit, I must say.

I guess one good thing about me is that very little things can make me happy, even when I am in constant bad mood. Such as certain text messages, or chat conversations. They may not matter to the people who said all that stuff, but to me, those were definitely pick-me-up moments. So when I get really exhausted from studying and get irritated at people, I can just think about those moments and smile.

My wall is getting filled up and it is looking just how I want it to be.
And my mom is in the US, visiting.

Summer is going to end soon. I am half looking forward to the school year, half wanting to go back to the beginning of May and relive the summer. Although, on second thought, I would not want to go through another period of Orgo. I am trying my best, but it is killing my brain cells definitely.

Hopefully, I'll make the best out of the next 3 weeks.

P/S:  Hmmmm, should I go on a super random and creative date?